It has now been two weeks since my internship that had so much hope came to an abrupt end, and in all fairness since then not much else has come through. I have been looking a lot at part time jobs in the retail sector, particularly with Christmas coming up and needing a bit of extra cash for the festivities. I’ve had zero luck though. Every single Christmas job I have applied for I have either been rejected from a few days after applying, not heard anything back from said company, or I have gotten to the next stage of the application and then been rejected. I have found in this process that I much prefer being rejected outright, as at least then I don’t have my hopes raised, which always happens when I get onto the next stage of a job application, as much as I don’t want to. In terms of jobs that I want as a long term choice, rather than just a money maker for the season of goodwill, not much has been going on on that front either. I was asked to complete a copywriting test for a company last week, which I submitted to the deadline of last Friday afternoon, and I am now just waiting to hear back from that.
Things, however, started to look up a little bit earlier this evening, though. I received an email from a company that I applied to just last Thursday about a junior content writer position. I know it sounds terrible but I didn’t really read much about the position when applying, just that it was paid, a little about what the role would involve, and the kind of person they were looking for. Somehow though, despite my lack of enthusiasm in reading an application for the umpteenth job I had applied for, I have been invited to an interview with the company on Wednesday afternoon. How that happened I will never know, but somehow it did. I am of course not holding my breath, but, as sad as it sounds, I feel honoured that I’ve been asked to be interviewed for an actual full time, paid job. Not a work experience opportunity, or an unpaid internship like all of my other successful applications and interviews have been that either require you to work from home or just pay you enough money to cover travel expenses, but an actual job. Like I said I’m not having high hopes for it, I don’t want to get myself all excited about it to then have all that positivity I built come crashing back down on me, but I’m going to try my very best, and what will be will be at the end of the day.
Anyway, moving onto what I actually want to focus on in my post today. I don’t know if its because its December, and that the year of 2013 is slowly drawing to an end in a few weeks time, but I have become very reflective. Not just about the past year or the past in general, but also about the future. That probably sounds quite bizarre as you obviously can’t reflect on something that hasn’t actually happened yet, but I have been thinking a lot about what is to come in 2014, and beyond. So much has changed in the past 12 months. I’ve completed my degree and graduated from university, I’ve moved back home having lived in Canterbury for three years to attend university, people that I know have done the same, some have got their first big break in the careers of their choice, others have moved out of their family home into their own rented homes, some have even gotten engaged or even got married. It’s crazy that all of this has happened in the space of a year, because as long as 12 months actually sounds, in reality it really doesn’t feel that long at all. When looking back to the person I was this time last year at the end of 2012, I had no idea that all of the events that have taken place in the past year would ever have happened, and the case will more than likely be exactly the same this time next year, too. This is the first time though in quite a while where a year has drawn to a close and I haven’t had a vague idea of what was to come in the following few months, where education and such is involved anyway. This year though, I can’t help but have an overwhelming feeling of being, well, lost. In terms of my career path I don’t have a clue where I’m going next, or what I will be doing at the end of the next three months. In all honesty, if scares me. Life is obviously one big line of obstacles and unexpected events, but to have not even the slightest clue of where I will be come the end of March, or April, or even further than that, just makes me feel a little bit out of touch with things.
Feeling lost amongst job applications, the endless vicious cycle of job hunting, and not knowing what my next step in the big wide world is going to be, isn’t helped when my Facebook and Twitter feeds are full of people talking about their flash new jobs, moving into their first flat or house, either with friends or a partner, or even getting engaged or married. It’s enough to increase the feeling of being lost by at least 20%, and in all honesty just makes you feel 100% worse about the situation that you’re in. Here I am, 22 years old, still waiting for the big chance to get myself out there, with my first job after university, hoping that everyday I open my email inbox, my big break will be sitting there waiting for me, and in the meantime of all this happening being very much unemployed. I’m still waiting for life to start, yet so many people who were in my classes at school, sixth form and uni seem to have gotten a hold of their lives with their jobs, perhaps even moved out or be planning to move out, or taking their relationships to the next step. I’m happy for all of these people, really I am, but I can’t help but wonder when it will be my turn to feel as if things are falling into place. Right now, I doubt that everything will all of a sudden be going as I want them to, to some extent, for quite a while yet, but my time will come eventually. Hopefully.
Who knows what the end of this year and the start of 2014 will have in store for me, but it sure will be an interesting ride to find out.