To put it bluntly, my stress levels are at an all time high. The past week or so has been one of the most stressful weeks I’ve had in being an unemployed graduate. I wrote in my last post a few weeks ago of how my motivation was at an all time low, and in all honesty it’s only gotten lower since then.
In the time since I last blogged about my job hunt, I’ve had two interviews. One was for a social media admin assistant at a recruitment agency that was only a 15 minute drive from where I live. A few days before I had a telephone interview with the company, and nothing was actually mentioned about it being an actual interview, and the person I spoke to only mentioned about me going into their offices to register with their agency. So I went in on the day of my appointment, registered with them as I expected, and then suddenly I was having a short interview with them for a job. Talk about being unprepared! After the interview, I was asked to write a short sample newsletter to send to them, which I completed and sent off to them as soon as I got home. My interview was on a Friday, and after a few days of waiting to hear back, I found out on the following Wednesday that I hadn’t got the position. I was a little bit disappointed, but at the same I was annoyed about the whole being unprepared for the interview, as well as the fact that on the day of the interview, after going through the whole process, the women I saw told me that I would know if I had the job or not by the end of that day. To be told this, then when I emailed them my sample piece, to have them tell me they would get back to me the following week, it was all a very confusing situation. The other interview I had was a few days after I registered/had an interview at the agency, and this time was for a social media executive at a company in London. I felt the interview went as well as it could have, the person who interviewed me was really friendly and the whole process was quite a relaxed one compared to other interviews I’ve had. Despite this though, rejection once again came yesterday (Tuesday 6th May) and I was told I hadn’t got the job.
I have got to a point where I don’t know what to do next. I feel completely stuck. Every interview I’ve had in the past few months I’ve gotten onto the next stage or got to the final two candidates, to then not get the job. I’ve sent my CV off to many agencies to see if they would be willing to take me on and help me find work, only to never hear back from them. I’ve re-written my CV and cover letter countless times, adapted them to suit all the different roles I’ve applied for, to get nowhere. I’ve had the job centre help me with my CV through two CV writing sessions, which I will admit, since having them help me re-write it, I have had a lot more interest from employers than I originally had, but I’m still no closer to getting anything. I went to the job centre for advice and help in getting a job in any sector, not just the one I’m hoping to get into, and while they’ve sent me on various sessions and got me a place on a fantastic BBC workshop back in November, since then I’ve basically been told there’s nothing more they can do for me. I feel like I’m at a complete dead end with no one else to turn to or nowhere else to go. I just feel, helpless, as well as utterly useless at that.
My emotions are completely all over the place. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve just burst into tears in the last week, I can’t take my mind off of work and looking for jobs, and I don’t think I’ve felt this stressed since I was doing my final exams and finishing off my dissertation at university a year ago. My parents, friends and boyfriend and his family have all been so supportive, telling me not to give up, trying to pick me up again when I’m at my lowest, listening to my constant moaning rambles about job hunting, but at the end of the day the support they give doesn’t mean I’m going to get a job anytime soon. It picks me up for a short time, but after I’ve filled out and sent off endless job applications, and realise that I’m probably either not going to hear back from the majority of them, or get outright rejected from them, motivation and positivity levels dramatically decrease once more. It’s the most miserable I’ve ever felt about being an unemployed graduate, and now we have reached the milestone first year since I completed my degree (exactly a week today it will be a year since I took my final exam), I feel even more worried that employers will hold it against me that in that time I’ve only undertaken volunteer work, and that I’ve not had any paid work. So many thoughts and feelings are running through my head at the moment, everything seems so unclear. I also cant seem to shift this feeling that I’m still going to be stuck in this position by the end of this year either, which isn’t exactly doing anything for my trying to remain as positive as possible.
Throughout my job hunt I’ve applied for many admin assistant and receptionist type jobs, but nothing has ever come of them. Today though, I spent four hours, from 10am until around 2pm, making a CV and cover letter that only applies to office work, as well as applying for nearly 30 jobs in that field. I don’t know whether it will pay off, my feelings at the moment are that the four hours I spent doing all of that will have been a complete waste of time, but in guess only time will tell. I apologise for another very long post in this part of my blog, but usually writing down how I’m feeling helps me feel a bit better, so this has been a real outlet of emotions that have been gradually building up in recent weeks, so I am sorry if I’ve bored you all to tears.