Thoughts.

Thoughts on Time

I have always had a great memory. I can remember phone numbers, birthdays, addresses and other important dates off the top of my head, and for years I’ve been amusing my friends and family by remembering the exact day and date of something happening, even going as far as remembering every little thing that happened, and oddly even being able to remember what I was wearing on said days. I have always been concerned about making sure I remember things too. From the ages of about 8 up until I was 16 I kept diaries, noting down any important occurrences that took place on an everyday basis, as is obviously the purpose of a diary. Since I finished writing diaries about six years ago, I have replaced them by using the calendars I use each year as a way to remember what I did when I look back in years to come. It’s fascinating, but at the same time quite odd, looking back at calendars that are even from a few years ago, and realising how much has changed in what feels like not a great deal of time.

My life now is completely different to the one that I was living in May 2013. In just 12 months, I’ve finished university, got my degree, graduated, moved home, celebrated my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, grown even closer to my friends, lost one or two as well, had two voluntary writing jobs that have helped my improve my writing style and helped me build up a bigger and better portfolio, volunteered for a charity, watched the majority of my film collection, and have read a great deal of my book library. All of this doesn’t seem that interesting when compared to a lot of my friends and people I know on Facebook. So many people who I knew at university have gone travelling to all of these amazing places that I at the moment can only dream about going to, quite a few people I know from secondary school, sixth form and university have gotten engaged, with even a couple actually getting married, one of my closest friends has had a baby and gotten engaged to her boyfriend, and a few people have gone straight from university into full time work, and have already in a year had promotions or even got their second jobs at other companies. It truly is amazing how much can happen, and how much can change, in what really isn’t that long a period of time.

I keep saying it to a lot of people lately, and had just as many people say it to me; I can’t quite believe it’s May already, and almost the end of May at that. The first five months of 2014 have already flown by, and as much as I don’t want to wish time away, it’s probably pretty easy to say that the rest of the year will go just as quickly. I keep thinking about things that took place this time last year; birthdays of family and friends, finishing university, going to gigs and other various places, and the more I think about all of these things and how they happened a year ago, I can’t quite believe that an entire year has passed since they took place. It’s scary to think that all of these events took place a year ago, yet they feel as if they just took place a few weeks ago. I know that happens every year; events take place, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into years, but I think where I have had a lot of time to think about general life things, it seems to be that little bit more daunting of how quickly time passes, and how the majority of the time we don’t even realise how fast it goes.

For me, what makes it all the more daunting is that, compared to the people I described but a few paragraphs ago, I feel as if I’ve done nothing with the year. I haven’t had any paid work. I haven’t been able to even start saving up to possibly one day move out, let alone actually move out of my family home. Aside from going on holiday for a week to Menorca last July, I haven’t done any travelling or seen any of the world that I so long to see, and at the rate I’m going with finding work and starting to earn money, it will most likely be a good while before I can afford to jump onto a plane and go anywhere in the world that I desire to see. I know that I haven’t wasted the year in the sense that I’ve just been sat on my bum watching endless hours of mind numbing reality television and turning my brain into a substance similar to mashed potato, I have been trying to constructively use all this spare time I’ve had, but I still can’t budge this feeling of having wasted the year due to my having not achieved anything of particular significance. I’m just hoping that in a years time, when May 2015 comes rolling round, that I can say I have actually achieved something with my time. Maybe, just maybe, I will have been able to complete some goals I’ve always wanted to reach.

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One thought on “Thoughts on Time

  1. See if you can get away to a different part of the country for a few days for a break or over a Bank Holiday. It seems to me you’ve got the one year blues since you left university and its making you very depressed.

    Don’t try comparing yourself to your friends on Facebook or you’ll get even more depressed and it will show through at interviews.

    A lot of people show off on social networks to impress friends about career and job prospects so I wouldn’t take to much notice. Especially graduates.

    From reading your blogs they are all brilliantly written and entertaining but you do tend to over analyse simple things and look in to meanings of things that probably don’t exist.

    And watch out for the jobcentre as they may soon start to get you on a workfare programme

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