Films

You Know You’ve Watched Too Many Horror Films When…

(This post is not to be taken seriously, it’s just a bit random and something I felt like writing. I can promise you I don’t go round my everyday life thinking these things. Well, not all the time, anyway…)

10. Looking Out Of The Window At Night Becomes a Hazard.
The risk of seeing blazing red eyes, or the image of a woman screaming at you is, quite frankly, enough to prevent anyone from peeking behind the curtain when the sun goes down…

9.Looking In a Mirror Also Becomes a Hazard, At All Times Of Day.
Mirrors are a risky business if horror films are anything to go by. Day or night, looking into a mirror always makes you ponder the thought of what will be looking back at you. Especially at night when your mind seems to enjoy playing tricks on you even more so than in the day.

8. A House With a Cellar Becomes An Instant No-Go.
They’re never fully lit, you don’t know what’s lurking in the corners, and who knows what has taken place in there over the years. Nothing but negativity can come from these dungeons of doom.

7. Hotels Become The Creepiest Places To Be:
If the place has carpet straight out of the 70s, the corridors are like a labyrinth, and every single door and floor look identical to one another, then I’d get out as soon as possible as you may have just entered The Shining.

6. All Red Sunsets Mean Martians Are On Their Way:
Mars is red, so of course if the sky is the oddest shade of red at sunset, then obviously arrival of alien spaceships wanting to invade the planet and destroy everything in sight, is imminent.

5. On a Similar Note, Any Slow Moving Planes = UFO:
It’s obviously a plane, but the slow movement and extra flashing lights just inspire the thought of UFO.

4. Creaking In The Loft Must Be a Demon:
Let’s face it, lofts are not visited a lot, so who knows what will be hiding under all those forgotten memories. Creaky floorboards due to a change in temperature? I think not somehow…

3. Old Photos and Home Videos Must Be Avoided:
Creepy dead people or strange demonic entities could be living amongst your most precious memories, that only want to steal your soul and cause diabolical misery. Just saying.

2. Woods Are Full of Anonymous Witches:
All woods become no go zones, because, let’s face it, the Blair Witch is watching you somewhere, and you will eventually find their abandoned hut covered in children’s handprints.

1. Children + Imaginary Friends = Run As Fast As You Can:
They say if ghosts really do exist that animals and children are the most susceptible to their presence. Going by how many horror films feature young children having conversations with people that are invisible, that usually turn out to be horrific demonic entities, anytime you’re round a child in everyday life that has an ‘imaginary friend’, find the nearest exit. Immediately. And run. Run as fast as you can, and don’t look back.

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