I’ve been going through a bit of a rough time lately. After exactly two years and nine months, myself and my boyfriend have gone our separate ways. It was me that initiated the break up. Since around March or April time this year, I found that things in our relationship were becoming all the more stressful and unsettled, and I felt I was turning into a bad version of myself, someone I didn’t want to or like being. It all came to a head in recent weeks, and just last week it resulted in our relationship coming to an end. This was my first real relationship, so this is my first break up, and at the moment I’m finding it difficult to come to terms with. I know it’s still early days, and like anything, these things take time, but as anyone who has been with someone for a long period of time, to one minute have them in your life all the time, to suddenly no longer have them there, it’s a very peculiar process to be going through.
As much as I’m hurting right now, with the way I’ve been feeling in the relationship for the past few months, there’s a part of me that feels a sense of relief that the stress has come to an end. That may sound mean, so believe me when I say that the past almost three years were some of the happiest of my life, but with the way I’d been increasingly feeling in recent weeks, I feel happier to know that I’m by myself and to know that I hopefully won’t feel the way I’ve been feeling for a very long time, if not ever again.
With all of this going on, it made me realise a lot about choosing your own happiness. I’m sure there are possibly hundreds, maybe even thousands of people out there right now who are doing something that doesn’t actually make them happy. They may be keeping themselves in said situation because they don’t want to let other people down, or maybe just because they don’t see the situation getting any better for them if they were to walk away from said thing. Whether it’s a job, a friendship, a hobby or a relationship, it doesn’t matter, if you’re not happy with something in your life, then you shouldn’t do it. It’s most likely easier said than done, in fact that probably goes without saying that it’s easier said than done, but if deep down you feel unsettled and that something isn’t right about whatever situation it is you find yourself in, then it might be time to take a deep breath, clear your mind, and let it go.
Life is far too short to dwell on things that make you unhappy, and there’s no need for anyone to look back on their life and have regret about doing something that makes them upset. When walking away from something that has played such a big part in your life, it can at first be weird to suddenly not have that there. You may even have thoughts of doubt about whether or not you have made the right decision, but at the end of the day, the choice you’ve made has been for a reason, the right reason.