Lifestyle · Thoughts.

A Mix of Emotions

This week has been one hell of a weird one. My boyfriend and I have been house hunting since just before Christmas, with us doubling our efforts since the New Year. After a number of house viewings, we have found somewhere that we both fell in love with. A little two bedroom house, which is in a quiet location, has a drive big enough for two cars, as well as street parking, a garden that’s perfect size for the cat, and it’s also only 10 minutes from a train station that will take me directly to London for work. We’ve put an offer on it, which has been accepted (hoorah!) and we’re now starting the process of getting all our mortgage, solicitors, land surveyors and legal fees sorted out.

I’m excited, but absolutely terrified. Over the moon, but anxious about the future and the whole prospect of being a home owner. Its probably the weirdest mix of emotions I’ve ever had. When telling family, friends and work colleagues, I’ve expressed that whilst I’m beyond excited at the thought of finally flying the nest, I also feel completely overwhelmed by it all. I’m guessing this is a normal feeling to have; in a way, it’s quite similar to how I felt after I graduated from uni. Despite these feelings of anxiety, I couldn’t be happier and I’m so excited to get the ball rolling once our mortgage is (hopefully) approved.

As I’ve already mentioned, I’ve been sharing my happy news with my closest friends and family, and everyone has been so lovely and supportive. Just genuinely happy for my boyfriend and I. However, I just didn’t expect a few of my friends, who are some of my best friends, to act slightly stand off-ish about the whole thing.

I’ve never really experienced this feeling before, and I don’t quite know how to feel about it all. With myself and my friends all being in our mid-twenties, I didn’t expect for there to be well, such a strong feeling of jealousy. Now don’t get me wrong, out of the friends I’ve told, most of them have been so wonderful and told me how happy they are for me. I think this is why it came as such a shock when a couple of my friends just reacted so coldly.

Maybe it just sounds a bit big headed of me to assume they’re jealous, I don’t know. I just feel quite hurt by the whole situation, especially by the little remarks that have been made since telling them my news. I don’t really know what to think or what to feel at this point. I know that deep down they’re probably really happy for me, but I just don’t quite understand how this happiness can be completely pushed to the side, to the point where they can only act bitter towards me.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but at a time where I need my friends, especially on days when I feel nervous about moving a good hour away from where all my friends and family are, I now feel like there’s certain friends I can’t talk to about it. Surely that’s not how it should be, I should be able to speak with all of them about any nerves I have about this huge life change, and I should be able to do so without receiving any remarks about moving so far away or not wanting to move away from our hometown. 

Hopefully things will improve in time, maybe once it’s all sunk in a bit more, but who knows. Either way, I hope it all passes soon, as right now, aside from the friends who are being so supportive and lovely, I just feel a bit alone. 




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